2013 P.R.O.S.T.A.T.E.. awards! A totally biased celebration of friends and crap that I like

In honor of the year that was

&
In an effort to rid myself of some plastic rakes I found on the beach.

I present you with the
2013
P.R.O.S.T.A.T.E. 
Awards
(it'a an acronym)

Plastic Rake On String To Acknowledge Tremendous Excellence.
(rake size and color may vary)

Race of the Year 

Born to run 

The only way it could have been better is if their was some sort of live Metal Mariachi band?

--NEWS FLASH--

 METALACHI 
WILL BE PREFORMING LIVE AT THE 2014 BORN TO RUN EXTRAVAGANZA

Honorable mention:

Bare Burro 5k

Race Director/Running Organization

ARAVAIPA

The Coury Brothers and family

Honorable Mention:

Luis Escobar 

All we do is run

Ultra Runner of the Year

8 Year old Teagan
Finisher of the Javelina 100km and 100 miles at Across the Years

Honorable mention:

Ian Sharman
The fastest man ever to complete the grand slam of Ultra-running

Honorable Mention:

Tracy Thomas
Tracy raised over $6,000 for the 100 mile club. and then was the outright winner in the 100 mile Endurance Challenge.

Burro of the Year

Scratch

Thanks for winning me some money.

Honorable mention

Samaritan

(I respect his stubbornness)

Travelling buddy of the Year

Tyler Tomaello

We traveled many miles and drank many beers

Honorable mention:

La Mariposa and Frenchie.

I love you guys.

Man of the Year

Every dude who used his own urine to clean a toilet seat and then wiped it off afterwards for the next person to use it

Woman of the Year

All women who who fight for equality!
If I had to wear a shirt everyday it would drive me insane.

Beard of the Year

Robert Shackelton Shackelford

I tried my best but  I wasn't even close.

Race Shwag

Leadville Burro Race
Not only did I not know I was getting a buckle, I also got a 4 pack of IPA. Not bad for getting second to last place.

 Honorable Mention:

F.O.K.A. B. M.
Federation of Kick Ass Beer miles
Shovel on a string

Dancer of the Year

Chris Rios and Maria Walton
Rios's behind the back clap move has been known to spontaneously in-pregnant whole ballrooms full of Infertile women.
Honorable mention to: 

Steph, Shawn and Scott

Musical Performance of the Year

Nacho
On a moonless night in Urique my friend Nacho strummed away at his violin

Beer of the Year

Stone Ale

Best Stone Ale of year

All of the IPA's brought down to Mexico for me by Mike miller and Pat Muldowney.  I am very fortunate to have such good friends.

Blog of the Year

http://foundonthebeach.blogspot.com/
By far my favorite blog!

Honorable Mention:

www.bourbonfeet.com

(shameless? You betcha!)

Food of the Year

The avocado

Honorable mention:

The taco w/avocado
 and

 the Vegan pizza also w/avocado

Snack Bar of the Year

Bearded Brothers
Raw, Vegan and Gluten free.

Inspirational quote of the year

Wake up and Frolic!
I love it

Gear of the Year

Black Shorts.

There is really only one piece of gear that I need to go running 

any brand will do but the liner should also be black.

Honorable mention:

The water bottle
Personally I prefer Ultimate Hydration handhelds but just about any bottle will do.


Shoe of the Year

Shoes are lame.  No winner here.

Honorable Mention:

If I got to wear somthing on my feet it's gonna be a pair of 
Luna Sandal

Shovel of the  Year

I'm a sucker for the Heart handle

Honorable mention:

First place Shovel on a string award presented to Nick Coury at the Javelina Beer mile

Favorite item Found on the Beach

 I don't know why I love this stupid flashlight so much but I do.

Honorable Mention:

His name is GustAvocado and if I die and have one of those Mexican roadside shrines dedicated to me, I want him in it.

Random cool moment of the year

"The Magic of Ometepe"

While at the beach I noticed a playing card sitting face down washed up on the shore?  (Okay whatever)  I went on to tell Tyler a story of  how when I was younger (Younger? I was younger yesterday!) I had a lucky card. The 4 of clubs (think four leaf clover) well I use to steal them out of decks whenever I came across an unguarded one, even  from the occasional casino (I'd look pretty tough in jail telling that story) Nobody really misses a "4" an ACE maybe but not a 4. Eventually I had a full deck of fours and have probably come across between 1 and 2 hundred of them over the years. Not really a compulsion just a hobby that I have since given up?  

I have also won money blindly picking 4 of clubs out of deck (not my deck, lol) on the same night I guessed someones birthday. (but that's whole other story)

"Hey Tyler, you wanna take a guess what card that is?"  I think he guessed like 9 of diamonds or somthing like that?

By now you know what my guess was!

I walked over picked up the card and showed it to him before I took a look.

His face instantly lit up with astonishment I knew what card it was.  

(it felt like we were in an episode of lost)

Pretty freaking cool. 

 The card is by far my favorite souvineer from my trip to Nicaragua

Religion of the year

I have my own take on this theology:
Actions speak louder than words and gods! Call it Karma, Korima  or Newton's third law.  What you do does matter and sooner or later it will come up give you a kiss or bite you in the ass.


THE END

If you were the lucky winner or an Honorable mention of the 2013
P.R.O.S.T.A.T.E.
awards and would like to receive your prize please send me a Paypal payment of $500 to cover shipping and handling and your rake on a string will be sent out at my convenience.
Either that
Or
Ask me to bring it with me somewhere that we might cross paths and please bring me a beer..

Congratulations to all the Winners.
You Rock!

Bonus:

Now for the worst of 
2013

Worst trend in running

Sure, I love boobs as much as the next guy but I don't want them while running an ultra. Hate is a strong word but I hate bra's on women and I don't wish to wear one either. Hydration packs that place bottles on the chest are a stupid fad that has got to go.

Biggest Ouch

A days before the 2013 Caballo Blanco Ultra Marathon I got that splinter wedged so far under my finger nail I had to cut the nail just to get to.  Miraculously I was able to pull out complete, I didn't loose my fingernail and more importantly it did  not get infected.
Worst Hair cut of the year

Thank you to the beauty school drop out at Super cuts for giving my the stylings of Hitler's mustache on my forehead.  I got that haircut in May and haven't had once since.

Sore Loser of the Year

Yanins Kouros at Across the Years 2013-14
Since his Douchebaggery spans from an event from 2013-14 he is also eligible for next years award.